Mama guilt. It’s one of those things that hits us hard right when we don’t expect it. So, we try to push it aside, hide the fact that we feel it OR use it as an excuse to keep us from doing what we know we are called to do. On today’s episode, we’re getting super real as we chat about what to do when that feeling of mama guilt in business has you questioning everything around you.
So…buckle up mama, because I think this one is going to be a game changer.
Links for This Episode
- Schedule your Mama Business Strategy Session
- Enroll in the Mama Business Blueprint
- Join the Mama Business Community
Podcast Episode Recommendations
- #14: Are You Showing Up Where it Matters?
- #3: Eliminate Overwhelm and Choose the Right Tech for Your Business
- #2: How to Avoid Burnout in Your Mama Business
Is Mama Guilt in Business Holding You Back?
Well hey there and welcome to today’s episode. I’m going to be completely honest with you here. This is a topic that has been on my list of “must records podcast episodes for months now. And yet, every time I went to do so – I felt inadequate. Like I didn’t know enough about the topic. Or it might come across wrong to someone who hears it because everyone’s experiences with this are different.
And I know that. Because we are different. And mama guilt manifests itself differently in all of us.
So today, as we chat and I share bits and pieces of my story and the stories of others around me, I want you to remember not to compare yourself to me or anyone else. I offer my experience with the hope that we can find common ground. That we can encourage each other no matter where we are in our season of mama life. Or business life. Or just life.
Because…sometimes…we need more than a strategy to fix what’s not working. Sometimes we just need to know we aren’t alone.
Today I hope to offer both.
To do so, I’ve compiled three mindset shifts I guess you could call them or maybe reassurances is a better way to put that? Either way, three things that every mama needs to hear – and especially the mama trying to grow her business.
It’s Okay to Want More and Still Want Less
The first thing is that it’s okay to want more and still want less. Not super clear is it? But neither is being a mama, right?
I want more. I want more creative space. More freedom to think. More time to teach and problem solve. More clients to serve.
And in turn…I want less, as well. I want less time away from my family. Less stuff cluttering my home. Less of the unnecessary meetings and tasks. Less on my calendar. Less.
There’s not necessarily a blanket, one-size fits all solution here, except the reality that it’s okay. It’s okay to want more and want less all at the same time. And you aren’t alone if you find yourself in the middle of the struggle to figure out how to balance that desire.
It’s Okay To Have Multiple Things Need Your Attention at Once
The second thing I want to say to you today if you are struggling with mama guilt is that it’s okay to have multiple things needing your attention all at once.
I don’t spend a lot of time on social media but this past week I’ve been working to get a few reels on Instagram and have found myself scrolling the feed a bit. And by scrolling the feed I mean I kinda get lost, and go down the rabbit hole, and suddenly 30 minutes of my life has evaporated.
But I digress.
My key takeaway from my feed this week? Well, that you have to do all the things with your attention totally on your kids or you are a terrible mom, business owner, or insert your own word there. Right? You know it’s true. The general consensus is that if you give one thing your entire attention, then you are a failure. Period.
And that is complete and utter BS. Sure, there are times when something or someone needs your complete attention, but there are also times when you CAN work on something while your kids play around you. It’s okay to have multiple things need your attention at once.
I read a novel a few months ago that gave me an interesting perspective on this. The woman in the book was a single mama with two kids that owned a huge business that created video games. The catch? She also wrote the code for the new video games. So, that meant that her time was in high demand between creating the product AND managing the business itself. But, every time her kids walked into the room she made sure to give them her full attention if they needed it.
And…they didn’t always need it. In fact, sometimes they just wanted to sit next to her while she worked.
I know it was just a novel – a work of fiction – but that concept really changed things for me. I make sure now that I am completely present if my kids need me. But, I also don’t mind letting them play while I get a few things done. In fact, if you’ve seen the tips on my Instagram, you know that’s true.
It’s also okay to tell one of those things no completely. To shut the door while your kids play elsewhere. Or to not work at all when they are around. That doesn’t make you a failure in any one way. But, as business owners we tend to get that wrong. And as mamas, it contributes to the guilt we place so heavily on ourselves. It’s wrong. So, let’s let it go.
It’s Okay to Take a Break for a Season OR Forever
The final thing I want to share with you if you are feeling the pressure of mama guilt is that it’s okay to take a break for a season…or forever if you need to.
After the crisis that has marked these last few years, a lot of very prominent business owners have very publicly taken time off – from creating and distributing content, from their weekly to-do lists, and from other areas of their businesses – all in an attempt to eliminate that feeling of burnout or stress that seems to have permeated our culture.
And here’s what I want to say: It’s okay to take a break. In fact, we were designed to be a human being – NOT a human doing. So, it comes as no surprise that if we are doing all of the time, then we are going to burn out. We are going to stop being that version of ourselves that can wake up and enjoy the little things with our kids or appreciate the fact that our spouse went above and beyond.
So, take that vacation. Take that time off. Or decide that running a business is entirely not for you. None of those decisions make you less than. None of those decisions say “I don’t care”. What it does say is, “I care about other things as well, and I might need to focus more on them during this season or period of time.”
And…maybe taking a break doesn’t mean giving up your business. Maybe taking a break means eliminating something from your business that doesn’t bring you joy anymore. Whatever it is – there’s no guilt in saying no – for now, for a season, or for forever.
It’s NOT Okay to Make Excuses
With all of that said, I have to say right now that while it’s totally okay to:
- Want more and still want less,
- Have multiple things vying for your attention at once, and
- To take a break for a season OR forever…
…it’s definitely not okay to make excuses. Decide what your priorities are and then go for them. Don’t waffle back and forth. Because that waffling…that’s where the seeds of guilt start to grow.
You know it and so do I.
Eliminate the Mama Guilt in Business
And now it’s time for the action portion of this episode, because action is where the dreams turn into the reality.
ACTION: I want you to seriously consider joining the Mama Business Mastermind launching in January 2023. Honestly, if you’ve struggled or are struggling with any of these feelings of mama guilt – it’s designed with you in mind. Not only will you have the accountability and collaboration of a group of like-minded mamas, but you’ll also find clarity when it comes to strategy, tech and everything else required to run a successful online business – without adding more to your to-do list. In fact, my goal is to help you determine what needs to stay AND what needs to go so that you never have to worry if the thing you are working on or the time you are spending is worth it.
So, head over to sarahbrumley.com/mastermind and get ready to make big waves when it comes to achieving your goals and dreams in 2023.
And…if you have any questions as to whether the program is right for you – send me a DM on Instagram and let’s chat. No pressure – just time for us to talk about how you can uplevel your mama life and business as we approach a new year.
Because mama, I’m cheering you on and I’m here to support you. Have an amazing day, and I’ll chat with you again soon.
